Just so you know reader
I don't write in any rhythm
It may be hard to read sometimes
I don't believe in grammar either.
How many times are we gonna do this?
How long is this going to go on?
I have nothing left to say
I thought that this would fix this, bit it hasn't
Its in my past unlike other things.
We have the same problem and you don't even know it****
...I must say its weird living in tampa again with out david, courtney, and Ashley. Very weird. When i was working full time at fossil and going to school full time, that exhuasted me. I had my friends at fossil but i saw them all day, so when out of work i invested all my time into my roommates. We were like family. They were my rock. My friends from fossil would invite me to go out to clubs and stuff and i would just say no. For one i wanted to focus my time on best friends. Second i didn't drive. I hate being a burden. I dont want someone to have to plan their night around me. It got to the point that they stop inviting me out. Thats it, they stop calling me.
When i moved to london, my best friends as well moved out of tampa. So when i came back to tampa they were all gone. The friends that i didn't try to make things work with became pretty much distant. I dunno if we are even friends any more. I don't talk to them and i don't know anything about them. Its wierd how that worked.
When with my ex the reason we broke up was because i didn't drive and my friends. Now i do drive and i have no friends ha and hes not around. Not that i want to be back with him, i think us would never work out no matter how attached we were to eachother.
I just find it almost surreal that my life went from insane drama filled to really empty almost. I wont go that far. Its just a very different vibe than what it was before.
I hang out with my roommate but she has a boyfriend and is very attached to him. Living in tampa and london me and my roommates were like family. I mean me and stacey hang out and talk but its not like im used to. I expect a lot from roommates. I know most people don't. But my roommates both in tampa and london were my best friends.
I am glad i have made my internet friends too and i have gotten a little bit closer to some of them. But when it comes down to i really dont know that much about any of them. I hope i grow closer especially the other fiveawesomegays haha.
I miss going to out dinners all the time most of all
I miss just hanging out and venting
I miss getting drunk with my close friends and singing out favorite songs
I suck at keeping touch. I almost feel like there is no one i can talk talk to about things. Besides a certain of course. but even then its weird because we don't talk on a day to day basis. I know thats my fault.
Other things make it difficult too certain subjects constantly in play.
ok sorry im done
I'll try to really blog
i blog better when im sad hahaha
im not re reading this sry for typos
10 comments:
Yeah, sounds about right. One of my roommates and I talked about this before. Aside from work/school, running errands, and being at home, there isn't much time or place to meet people. Your boy/girlfriend, roommates, and co-workers eventually do become your friends. Also, as great as YouTube might be, personal interaction is hard to beat. If time permitted, I'd walk everywhere. P.S. Sounds like someone has a case of the ex.
I think I understand how you feel a little bit. I just came back after my first year of college in a different state and expected everything to be the same.
I was expecting my friends and I would hang out like we used to in high school, but it just doesn't work like that I guess. We're all busy doing our own things so it's hard to find time that's right for everyone.
It all works out in the end though. You end up either making new friends or reconnecting with old ones. What ever happens will happen. Not much you can do but enjoy the ride I guess.
i think you are possibly one of the coolest people ever. no lie. you're just too cool for words. and i think people can relate to how you feel more than you'll ever know.
<3
Most recent entry May 23 that was like.... months ago.
It sucks that you hit such a rough patch in your life, but I have complete faith that you'll get back on track. It's funny I feel like I know you so well, probably better than some friends that I've known for years, just from watching your videos and reading your blog entries, which is funny because you have no idea who I am and you will probably think of me as a stalker after you read this. But seriously, you're amazing, after I come home from a bad day I'll rewatch some of your videos and that makes me feel so much better.
Everything will work out. Don't worry, be happy.
Your thoughts are interesting. You should definitely blog more ;)
I feel your pain. It's hard to adjust back to life after being removed from something for a while. It's as if everything has changed even if you don't necessarily want it to. I enjoy the realness of your blog. Keep writing. And know that the people out there love you and think you're great and if you ever need something we are here...okay at least I know I am here. You're an inspiration to many, Hang in there!
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